the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
