The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
