i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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