i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize