STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
