after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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