i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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