I just saw a hot homeless man
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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