Rock
Scissors
Fuck
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
