when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
