Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
MIDGETS
????
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
