dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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