Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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