How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
