I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
