Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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