forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
