the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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