i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize