no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
