So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
