One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
