Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
