Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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