we made out on top of his cat.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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