i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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