he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
