I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
