I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
