She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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