I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
wow bdsm is so cute
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