You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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