Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
