i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
