Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
