Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
