I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
