I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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