First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
