Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
