you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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