there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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