My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
