is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
