so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
