i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
