Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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