just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
