"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
