ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
