Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize