did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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