I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
