maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
