I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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