You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
