i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
