if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
