Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
