It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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