Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
